Sounds a lot like Buck Rogers in the 25th Century or Duck Dodgers in the 24th and 1/2 Century but probably closer to Duck Dodgers. Recently I was telling a married friend of the trials and tribulations of dating in 2017 and she said I should share it with everyone. Won’t hurt. Might help, and maybe give someone a chuckle. I haven’t written in a long while so I may be rusty.
Finding prospective mates is harder now. Most of the good ones are already taken and happily married. I don’t know about the rest of you but I had a lot more patience and understanding when I was kid too. Now, I try not to be too picky. Really the biggest requirement I have for dating someone is they are not batshit crazy. Quirky is OK, You know, Like Zoey Deshanel quirky not Lizzy Borden quirky. My only other issue is families. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind them. However experience has taught me if you find a significant other’s family is nuts chances are she is too. Apple trees make apples.
The thing is, now in our online culture, even meeting is done online. It has it’s pluses and minuses. One plus is everyone knows why they are there. Everyone is searching for someone. One minus to this is some are Con-men or have some other nefarious purpose. For the most part though the biggest minus I come across is, I keep running into Batshit crazy. For example, I was speaking to a woman on the phone. We didn’t make it to dating. That’s because she told me: “We were living in the end of days.” She also had a number of aluminum foil hat, conspiracy theories as well. One woman I dated got really angry with me over the fact I didn’t text her back immediately. I was driving to work. In the course of my driving she concocted a whole series of reasons why I didn’t text her back except the real one. I told her I was driving, ’nuff said. She said I should have texted her that, it only takes a couple of seconds. Bear in mind we had 2 dates. Count them 2. I tried in vain to explain why I don’t do this. I ended it right there. She continued to text me after this several times before she got it.
You can also run into serial daters. They just like going out on dates. They have commitment issues. Serial daters love that phase of dating where everything is new, butterflies in the stomach, Magic kisses. Then they’re gone. I may or may not be afraid of commitment. But I’m not a serial dater. It sounds like too much work. Although I think I went out with a couple myself.For instance, I took a woman to dinner at a very nice restaurant. Prior to this we had several conversations both text and by phone. Dinner went very well I thought. It was very much like our phone conversations. It felt very comfortable. When I leaned in to kiss her goodnight, she gave me the cheek. Now I have no issue with that exactly. The issue I had been if you’ve spoken to me prior to this date. I was no different in person than on the phone. I did nothing stupid during it. So I assume she had no interest romantically, prior to the date. I did not receive the courtesy of thank you, or even a text that said “I had a nice time last night but…”.
There’s another thing I see online, on women’s profiles. “Friends first” or “looking for long-term dating or friends”. I never bought into that. We are on these dating sites for the same reason. We want to meet someone so we can get off dating sites. If you really want friends, wouldn’t it be a friendly gesture to respond to an email. Most don’t. But I get it. Woman are inundated with messages. So many they don’t read them all. Also I see “No Hookups! Swipe left if you want to hook-up!Etc”. Then it says Long term or Short Term relationship. Would short-term classify as a hook-up? I’ve yet to see a woman who states on her page looking for a hook-up. The fact is we are all looking for a hook-up sooner or later. Oh yes, I know, relationship first, but then once that is going well, then there will be sex. From the woman’s perspective (at least what I’m told) you can’t have one without the other. Otherwise whatever it is won’t last long. Actually that’s not true. No sex equals friend zone, for what can be infinity. If there is not that spark and/or a make-out session on that first or second date it’s time to move along. Just as an experiment I might just put on my profile, “Open to LTR or Hook-up”
I’m not saying everyone was like this. I have met a number of very nice women, but for some reason, either chemistry, or our timing was just off, we just didn’t make a go of it. Then of course there are the times you get friend zoned. That has happened more than I like to admit. You think I would have learned, but there was a 30 year gap between those occurrences. I think the 2nd time was tougher, because by then you know what you would like in a significant other, you find it, and because of inaction you lose it. It’s even more painful when you find out that early on they had that kind of interest in you. This is life, not Hollywood so you have to close that door and move along. Of course the romantic in me will always have that door cracked open just a little bit.
Now I’m no George Clooney but I’m not hideous either. For a man of 51 I think I look relatively good. ( I know what man doesn’t think that). I still have all my own hair with some grey. I have a spread like so many my age do. Other than that I’m funny, (which is good because women all put down “Love to Laugh”. Don’t we all?) I’m intelligent sensitive to others but still a man’s man. I can cook, clean, do laundry yet I can still make household and automotive repairs. That’s what I typically put down in my profile anyway. What I find amazing though is the Laundry list of qualifications that women list to date them. Height is one I see a lot of. No offense meant to short people, but I’m so glad I’m not short. It seems that this is a problem for a lot of women that are taller than average and /or like to wear heels. often wonder about priorities. “He’s 6’5″ and is an ax murderer? Cool I’ll wear my 5 inch stilettos. ” I’m 5’11” and I have no issues with dating women shorter our taller than me. Seems everyone, men included are looking for Fit, Athletic, Active, No Drama, and no games. I have found that those who want no drama, and claim to have none of their own, create more drama for themselves than if William Shatner was performing,…. well,…. anything really. As to games, it’s all a game really. People say they want honest and blah blah blah… and no games. Guess what. Everyone is playing a game. Me I just try to keep the rules as simple as possible.
By the way, I’m not say’n. I’m just say’n. If you have a single female friend give them my regards and my phone number.